Coping with Unseen Injuries: From Battlefront to Homefront

On Wednesday, September 16, 2009, I attended Defense Forum Washington: an all-day conference titled “Coping with Unseen Injuries: From Battlefront to Homefront.” The event, sponsored collaboratively by the United States Naval Institute (USNI) and the Military Officers’ Association of America (MOAA), was very comprehensive in scope as it provided a plethora of information through focused panel sessions and speaker presentations. I did my usual bevy of networking, speaking with Joy Dunlap, Sue Hoppin, and other staff from MOAA, Tom Wilkinson, CEO, and his staff from USNI, Kristy Kaufmann, Matt Flavin from the White House, Rep. Wu, and key representation/sponsors from TRIWest, USAA, and others.

The first speaker was Adm. Mullen. He talked about the importance of taking care of our service members upon their return home and how critical reintegration programs and processes are for them and their families. Adm. Mullen also spoke of his experiences with the Mid East region, having travelled there extensively throughout this year and visiting with the troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

He spoke about the critical needs of those suffering from post traumatic stress (PTS: he purposefully left off the D for disorder) and traumatic brain injury (TBI), and mentioned that his office is doing everything they can to insure that the troops and veterans get what they need during the reintegration process. Thereafter, a few questions were posed to the Admiral, most notably by SSgt. Charles J. Eggleston, who introduced himself and inquired about what his office was doing to help and support those veterans returning from the conflicts to secure good jobs. Adm. Mullen politely said hello to Charles (they have played golf together) and then told everyone in the audience that his email was King Charles (it is, and don’t ask me why).

Adm. Mullen then said that his new staffer could point the way to some of the creative programs that they are starting and to speak with him directly for more information and connections. His staffer (I cannot recall the name but someone from BSF has been speaking with him) had my contact information already and knows us well through Mrs. Mullen.

The panel sessions were also very informative. The first panel, “Managing the Battlefield and Beyond – A Leadership View”, was very informative and discussed new programs (e.g., Yellow Ribbon and AW2) that are helping our wounded warriors. The second panel, “Implications of Unseen Injuries: How Do We Respond on the Homefront?” was about the research portion of the issues surrounding care for the wounded and how long we will have to look after our wounded warriors (as Adm. Mullen stated, the implications of these wars and its injured will extend out for decades as you consider the families of the wounded). The last panel, “Caring for Families and Caregivers: Facing the Truth”, was about the experiences of caregivers: one mother and one spouse who dramatically changed their lived to care for their son and husband, respectively. The mother’s experiences in Florida at the VA and with the Army’s case management were not good at all. As she was telling her story, she was brought to tears, and so was I. The spouse’s experiences with the Marines were markedly different, and much better. She did not have the problems connecting with her Marine case managers at all.

All in all, it was a great forum, with lots of information packed into one day; a very good use of a day indeed. To top it off, the Hon. Tammy Duckworth spoke in the closing session. She was recuperating at Walter Reed while my husband was there; yes, they know each other. She spoke of her experiences as a Blackhawk pilot and her injuries, and her resilience. What a great day!

It has been a while since my last blog

I know, I know. It has been such a long time since I last wrote here. And, not to make excuses, but it is because of my work at Blue Star Families. I have been so busy with my new roles as Director of Development and as a Blue Star Voices blogger that I have neglected my own blog. Bad news. In addition, I am writing a book with my sister. This seems to be taking forever because we both have numerous projects on our plates. The good news is that I am still writing!


I am happy that the warm weather has arrived, and I have been thoroughly enjoying the outdoors. I am not one of those people you'll hear complaining about how hot it is because I know how cold it can get. Last winter was mild, but I have experienced ice storms that will make you wish for a heatwave. Besides, I can take the heat; in fact, I just turned on my air conditioner a few days ago. Yeah, I can handle the heat.


So now I will depart with the promise to blog more, write more, and stress less.

Blue Star Families Survey

Military Families! Be sure you are a part of the conversation about what we need by taking 10 minutes to complete the Top Military Family Issues Survey 2.0 by clicking on the link on our website www.BlueStarFam.org. While you’re there, take a look around to see the new direction of the group and join us to receive notice of the survey results.

We’ve partnered with the American Red Cross, USO, National Military Family Association, Armed Forces YMCA, Military Spouse Magazine and Military.com to present this survey, the results of which will be released to the media and top government officials.

The survey will take less than 10 minutes and closes on March 31.

The February Chronicles of Pamela, Part 2

My birthday has come and gone. I am thankful that I have been blessed to see another year. I did not treat myself to the massage and pedicure that I planned, but that’s okay. It seems as though I was on the phone my entire birthday as friends and family called from all over to wish me health and happiness on my special day. I think it is wonderful to be loved and needed: by true friends and by family who have through the years become true friends.

I am so privileged to have true and great friends. Friends and family who are honest, possess great integrity, and who call me on my BS from time to time, as needed. Friends and family who do not gossip, who may have issues but address them with therapy, medication, God, and love, and friends and family who are not haters and not motivated by jealousy, dislike for themselves, and deep seated unhappiness within themselves.

I believe that you know what I speak of. Over the years, I have ridded myself of those “friends” who could not restrain their demons and who did not care enough to deter themselves from slipping into hater behavior. You know: the gossiping, secretly (or not so secretly) wishing the worst for you and yours, practicing passive deception, spreading negative vibes. We all know people like this; I have chosen to stay away from them. I truly believe that I have been placed on this earth for a reason and given the gifts of life, light, and love. Negativity and bad energy have no place within these gifts. Life must be lived to the fullest, and its journey must be wholly experienced.

The February Chronicles of Pamela, Part 1

This month is my birthday month. Another year has come and gone for me. I often ask what I have done for myself. I am really good, probably better than most, at taking care of myself with massages, manicures, pedicures, etc. but lately I haven’t done too well in that category. I used to read fiction voraciously and I can only remember one nonfiction book I read a week or so ago. I think I am taking myself too seriously, in part because I am so dedicated to what I am doing, and also because it is winter, and I like to hibernate like a bear. When the weather breaks, and spring arrives, I’ll be outside running, walking, relaxing, and reminiscing.

So what am I going to do for my birthday? For starters, I will not divulge my age. Suffice it to say that I look pretty damn good. Alas, I will let it be known that I will most likely get a massage that is so long overdue. And I will be eating chocolate, three pounds of it, even if I am on a diet. Stay tuned for more….

My Inauguration Experience

It all began on the afternoon of Monday, January 19, 2009. Martin Luther King Day. I was cleaning around the house and preparing for an evening at the Blue Star Families for Obama Victory Party at Fort Belvoir, VA when I received a call from the USO of Metropolitan Washington asking my husband Charles and I to be in the Inaugural Parade. Initially I said no because of the cold, chilly weather and the fact that my husband has titanium throughout much of his body, which tightens and gets painful in the cold. Alas, we were made an offer we could not refuse, and I packed my clothes for the Inauguration festivities.

Later that evening, we attended the Blue Star Families for Obama Victory Party. Now Blue Star Families, the organization helped to get the message of pro-military, pro-Obama out to the masses. We did so much work canvassing, hosting house parties, and spreading the message that Obama supports the military, including spouses and families. We had a lot to celebrate, and I am glad that I was able to help BSF plan and host the party. About 100 members and invited guests were in attendance! (http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/2009/01/military_bluestar_families_012009w/)
It was a great way to meet BSF members from across the country who came into town for the inauguration. Blue Star Families (www.bsf40.com) will now focus on educating those who are in leadership and promote the interests of military families.

January 20, 2009 was a very busy day for us. We woke up at 4 am, drove to Walter Reed, got into a USO-sponsored truck, drove to Fort Riley, VA, rode to the Pentagon, got debriefed and security checked, waited, ate lunch, waited, returned to the USO vans, left for the parade route, and waited again, all before 12 pm. I was so happy about the day that I didn’t notice how tired and exhausted I was. After we heard President Obama sworn in as the 44th President of the United States over the radio, we waited some more, taking naps, reading, and listening to IPods. Due to the illnesses of Sens. Burns and Kennedy, and because of an unruly horse (who unfortunately had an accident with a vehicle and had to be put down) we waited longer than expected. As long as I stayed in the heated van, I was fine. But it was soon time for us to get out of the warmth and walk towards the USO float. It was the last float in the parade, and so many people had left, but the Obamas were there, still waving at us as though we were the first. It was worth the wait.

It was about 8 pm or so. We had to change to go to the Commander In Chief Ball. We wanted to go to the hotel to change but the traffic was so horrific that we did not have time. We had to go straight to the ball at the National Building Museum. My husband and I changed on the second floor in the bathroom. This was not a problem because I can adapt to a lot, and we had the best view in the house. Second floor, center stage, next to Katie Couric. We took some fairly decent pictures with those tiny cameras you can fit inside of a clutch. Having the chance to be in the same room with the Bidens and the Obamas was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

At about 10:30 pm, we went to the USO Inaugural Concert at the Warner Theatre. We had VIP passes to go upstairs, where there was food and a DJ. I was hungry and didn’t fully realize it until I saw the food. It was scrumptious. We left at about 1:30 am in vans going to Walter Reed. Once we returned to Walter Reed, my husband and I got into our car and left for home. We returned home at 4 am.

This day, Inauguration Day, was one of the longest days I have had in a while. Was it worth it? Most definitely. Experiencing history has no price.

Are we truly in a recession?

Yes, we are. Yes, I have personally experienced it, as I was laid off late last year. Money is tight for a diva. Well, I’m not really a diva, but I am fabulous, and it is my fabulousity that cries silently as I have given up the comforts of regular pedicures and white chocolate mochas from Starbuck’s. Whoa is me. What does this mean for you?

First, let us review some basic stats. Is the unemployment rate at about 7 percent or higher? It depends on how you look at it. If you are strictly examining jobless rates, then the number is 7.2 percent. However, if you include those working part-time but cannot gain full time employment, then this number swells to about 13.5 percent. What is important to note is that the 7.2 rate is still the highest this country has experienced in 16 years (NY Times, January 10, 2009).

To address this growing problem, President-Elect Obama has introduced an aggressive stimulus package, with no earmarks, no less. I hope it works, and I hope I get a significant check. The last stimulus check was incidental and I guess I was one of the few who didn’t run out to spend it. I put it in my savings account because a little birdie told me that the economy was going to get worse, and that I may need it to pay bills later. I was right; that birdie has never told me a lie. Never.

The proposed stimulus package seems significant enough. “At a news conference in Washington, Mr. Obama said that behind the latest job statistics were “real lives, real suffering, real fears,” and Congress must bring Americans relief by quickly enacting a stimulus plan. Asked whether he was worried that some lawmakers thought his proposed stimulus program, estimated at $775 billion, was too small, he responded that others thought it was too big and said he was open to a “whole host of ideas” in consultation with Congress.” (NY Times, January 10, 2009). Damn! That is a lot of money, but so what. Congress was quick to bail out Wall Street, when half of them should be in jail, and fairly swift to help the car companies, so I want what’s mine. And I want other people hit by these hard times, these “real lives,” to get what’s theirs.

I am in no way disillusioned about the current state of the economy. I know that President-Elect Obama will not fix this crisis during his term. This is the kind of CF that takes years to repair. Nevertheless, Obama has given me hope (well, I always have hope) but he has put the icing on my cake of hope. His speech at George Mason University last week resonated with me. One key point that he mentioned:

“The very fact that this crisis is largely of our own making means that it's not beyond our ability to solve. Our problems are rooted in past mistakes, not our capacity for future greatness. It will take time, perhaps many years, but we can rebuild that lost trust and confidence. We can restore opportunity and prosperity. We should never forget that our workers are still more productive than any on Earth. Our universities are still the envy of the world. We are still home to the most brilliant minds, the most creative entrepreneurs and the most advanced technology and innovation that history has ever known. And we are still the nation that has overcome great fears and improbable odds.”

Hell yes. But how does this translate for us? Hire American and hire legally, period. And bring those corporations who hired illegally to justice. Everyone speaks of putting up fences around the borders, yadda yadda, save for a key reason why this is even an issue is because of the illegal activity of corporations in this country. It is so like us to focus on the bottom of a problem, when we should go straight to the top to hold those there accountable. And let’s get behind Obama’s American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan. Let’s be present in this moment and invest in America’s future.